This Amazing Web

7 Phrases Digg Users Prefer Not To Say

2007-04-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

Here is the list of phrases that Digg users prefer not to say in public. Are you one of them?

When someone has a lot of DIGGS
-Wow! That guy has so many DI**S!
-Damn Mutants...

First Date
-(woman) I love DI** so much
-Maybe to my place?

When there are Problems with DIGG
-There is something wrong with DI**!!!
-I know one doctor…

Call a friend to join DIGG
-Hey, have you heard about DI**?
-Hm…I prefer talking about basketball...

Just talking
-I`ve made several DI**S today…
-You what???

Talking about Kevin Rose
-Who is Kevin Rose?
-Well, the guy who created DI**!
-Very funny, idiot…

About something new on DIGG
-Hey,what`s new on DI**?
-Man, you`re sick!

Do not make DIGG look like a DI**. Submit good articles.

Do you like fun? Do you like DiGG fun? Then FUN FUN!!!

100 Facts About Chuck Norris

2007-04-24T13:23:00.000-07:00

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

If you try to introduce your mother to Chuck Norris, she'll introduce you to your biological father.

Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat."

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.

Chuck Norris has to sort his laundry into three loads: darks, whites, and bloodstains.
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.

Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.

Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".

Chuck Norris never gets brain freeze. Slurpees know when to back the fuck off.

Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant.

Chuck Norris refers to himself in fourth person.

Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the shit out of them.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.

When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".

Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

When Chuck Norris laughs too hard while drinking milk, he accidently shits a cow.
One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

Chuck Norris has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Chuck Norris problem.

Jesus owns and wears a bracelet that reads, "WWCND?"

In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only smaller and angrier.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.
Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris" is imprinted beneath the surface of China.

Microsoft has released a new Anti-virus removal tool called Chuck Norris. The tool dares the virus to enter the machine.

Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.

When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

Chuck Norris only uses one chopstick.

Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

Chuck Norris once had a near death experience. Needless to say, Death now refuses to come near him.

People say the truth hurts, but it hurts a hell of a lot more when it comes from Chuck Norris.

If you come home to find Chuck Norris doing your wife, it's probably best to go fetch a glass of water and stand there in case Chuck gets thirsty. There ain't no future in any other course of action.

Chuck Norris can open beer cans with his teeth. He still prefers to use other people's teeth, though.

Chuck Norris uses all seven letters in Scrabble... Every turn.

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First president of Russia is dead

2007-04-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

THIS IS NOT A JOKE. I post this here because news agencies are unavailable because of massive traffic and problems with servers.

ITAR-TASS

First president of Russia, Boris Nikolaevich Eltsin has died today. He was a great politic and he made a lot in putting US-Russian relationship to a new level.

He was the president of Russia from 1993 (after the crash of Soviet Union) to December,31, 1999. He was born February,1,1931.

From me to you!

2007-04-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

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American Stupid Laws

2007-04-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

"The article was translated from other language so mistakes can occure"

In the USA, there are thousands of laws of the state, county or municipal level. Some of them now seem ridiculous, but the emergence of such legislation once it is quite serious reasons. For example, in the city of Los Angeles banned to lick frogs.

In Arizona forbidden to hunt camels. Reason : The U.S. Army once used camels as draught power. Local residents, unfamiliar with the military experiments felt Bactrian animals new species of wild animals and preying on them than have been seriously harmed defense dollars. As a result, the camels were dismissed from military service and now live in alabama semi-feral camels. Hunt for them is still prohibited.

In California banned baths. The reason : The law has been established in the late 1980s, when it was discovered that the majority of homosexuals with AIDS contracted in the public baths. The law was passed to stop the spread of the epidemic.

In the city of Los Angeles banned to lick frogs. The reason : The law was passed after the urban adolescents found that the skin of some frogs contain hallucinogens. Addicts kidnapped frogs and sucked them diligently, and the police could not do anything with it.

Fresh Joke

In the town of Norco law prohibits residents have rhinoceros. Reason : Norko is informal title of "City of unusual pets." Residents of the town kept in the homes of details, crocodiles, pigs, not to mention the traditional dogs, cat, rabbits, homyakah etc. Female animals tend sometimes to flee from their homes. Once this has happened with detenyshem rhinoceros, which caused serious damage to local gardens.

The city Mobil men away ♦ banned in public places. Reason : once in the city was kvartirovala military in times of humanity wearing the narukavnom shevrone sign of the wolf (which in turn is due to a long history in which the United States fought with the Indians, and the scouts thus demonstrated their courage, prudence and force). In the evenings, soldiers gathered in local bars and frightening vyli out more wolves that can be frightening citizens of resentment. Military base closed, but the law remained. In the same city, women are forbidden to wear high shoes. Reason : One woman in high shoes occurred in bars and spillway damaged leg. It is suggested that the entire blame municipality made streets such dangerous devices, called the case to court and won. As a result, in order to prevent the emergence of similar lawsuits in the future, the city fathers felt that it is cheaper to adopt a special law than to change grids.

In the city of Boulder banned the doorway to stand sofas at home. The reason : The town has a long and very cheerful University. In 2003, the magazine US News & World Report called the temple of science better place for amateurs entertainment. Students love to celebrate the victory of university athletes raising fires in the city streets, often resulting in fire. Sofas are the ideal fuel. In Florida, the doors of all buildings to be opened only outwards. Reason : In the event of fire, it is easier for people to run out into the street.

The city Seaside around all homes must be white fence. Every house must have a beautiful sunlight. The reason : the city's economy is based on tourism. Therefore, the municipality had decided that such a design would create "a fabulous town, which would make it even more attractive for tourists.

In Hawaii banned adverts on the roads and in public places. Reason : Advertisements must not interfere with tourists enjoy the Hawaiian scenery. The city Overlend-Park forbidden to demonstrate at the funeral. The reason : The law was passed because of one man, a radical Christian who regularly appeared at the funeral of homosexuals with posters, which read that the deceased deserved death, God and his pokaral.

Michigan banned sprint octopus in public places. Reason : Before the adoption of the law during the game in which she has participated Hockey Team Detroit Red Wings, supporters pushed octopus on the ice. The tradition started in 1952, when the team had to win all remaining eight games to win the Stanley Cup. At the beginning of the first game, some fans threw octopus on the ice, one foot for every game, and Red Wings became champions.

The states of New Jersey and Oregon, people can not poured petrol in the tank, they must help the employee WSA. The reason : The law was passed long ago, when many people (particularly older) did not know basic things, for example, that explosive gasoline during refueling better not to smoke. The owners of filling stations were afraid that their clients can blow up fuel. In North Carolina community organizations barred from seeing if their members are wearing the same costumes. The reason : The law was passed to prevent the gatherings Ku-Kluks-Klan local activists who are white shirts.

In the city of Memphis begging to be "licensed" by the state (which is $ 10) to be eligible to beg Reason : The law was passed in order to escape from the crowds of people who occupied the tourist dostoprimechatelnost and in the city centre. The Texas men forbidden to wear with a cable. The reason : In times of the Wild West, Right to steal cattle, cutting wire fences cables. Such thefts have become so frequent that in the end, decided to prohibit the cable.

In the state of West Virginia, students are unable to attend school if they smell onions. Reason : The state grows a species of wild onions, which is a very strong smell. Smell is even a few days after his eating. In the same state, any animal sbitoe car, it becomes the property of the driver's car. The reason : The law was passed in order to save money on clearing roads. In addition, under the wheels of cars often are edible deer.

In Washington, people who have come to the state with the intent to commit a crime should first call the police and inform her of the existence of such plans. The reason : The law was passed-quite seriously-to reduce the number of crimes. Residents of other countries and states offender in the state of Washington, more accused and the breach of the law.

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How to make an iPod from Geiger sensor

2007-04-17T05:46:00.000-07:00

Insane people can do everything! Do you want iPod like this? :)

Get your free iPod Video.

Funny Newspaper Classifieds

2007-04-16T02:16:00.000-07:00

Nothing to say. Something to watch. Jhdething to create.

Secret US Weapon in the Iraq War

2007-04-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

I`ve just discovered an interesting information. USA is going to use SECRET weapon in the Iraq War. An army of high-trained hamsters will be taken to the desert. Nobody can stop them! They are armed and hungry. Look at the picture! There is FEAR in the air... I heard they eat people`s brains. Strange...strange hamsters...

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Google bought the WHOLE country!

2007-04-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

According to Euronews, Google has bought Luxemburg, a small
country in Europe for 37$ billion dollars which will be paid in the next 30 years.

This is what Larry Page told us about it: "We were looking for a new place for our Europe Headquarter for a long time. Luxemburg is a small country with a very good economics. And one interesting fact: Luxemburg has the smallest % of crimes in the whole world. We gave our business plan to Luxemburg`s government about month ago. Yesterday they accepted our offer. It will be mutual partnership. All Luxemburg`s residents will have access to all Google services, free high-speed Internet and other bonuses. Also we want to change the name of our new country to Googleburg. It is quite simple ("burg" (german) - castle) but as all Google services. We`ll make our country open to tourists so every Google user could look at Google`s work inside. But I won`t tell you all secrets. It`s gonna be a big surprise!"

Isn`t it amazing? This is historical moment. The first time in world`s history a corporation buys the whole COUNTRY! With it`s own laws, constitution and president. Is it a new level in our civilization? Googlisation. Google has just appeared in the world`s politic arena. Let`s hope that it will be a good appearance.

:)

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:)

Hmm...a game!

2007-04-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

Use Left,Right,Up and Down buttons. And Brain of course.

Answer the question and get a FREE Plasma TV

I`m...so sorry, Kermit...

2007-04-06T15:00:00.000-07:00

Be strong...

Get your Free Ipod Nano now!

We love you, Jelly Jumper!

2007-04-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

Click picture to play Jelly!

What was happening in the world the day you born?

2007-04-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

Kakorama knows the answer!

Celebrity Jeopardy: Cruise, Sandler, Connery

2007-04-06T11:32:00.000-07:00

I thought I would die laughing. Very funny scetch from Comedy Central. WATCH IT NOW!

Do you want a free playstation 3?

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

2007-04-06T11:29:00.000-07:00

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

300 Spartans??? Find The Difference!

2007-04-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

Google Image Hack

2007-04-06T11:13:00.000-07:00

Look at this nice Google Hack.

Here's the code:
javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++ }setInterval('A()',5); void(0);

The Real George Bush

2007-04-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

Paparazzi cought George W. Bush. :)

Signs Around Us That Tell the Truth

2007-04-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

Dormitory
When you rearrange the letters:
Dirty Room

Evangelist
When you rearrange the letters:
Evil's Agent

Desperation
When you rearrange the letters:
A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code
When you rearrange the letters:
Here Come Dots

Slot Machines
When you rearrange the letters:
Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity
When you rearrange the letters:
Is No Amity

Mother-in-law
When you rearrange the letters:
Woman Hitler

Snooze Alarms
When you rearrange the letters:
Alas! No More Z's

A Decimal Point
When you rearrange the letters:
I'm a Dot in Place

Eleven plus two
When you rearrange the letters:
Twelve plus one

And for the grand finale:
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA
It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using
each letter only once) into:
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS